Boy, Those Aztecs Were ZESTY! (1999)

    Come on people, I thought we were done with this kind of crap.  Applebees restaurant chain has introduced an 'Aztec Chicken Salad' (that's like, so 1994!).  Apparently 'Mexican Chicken Salad' (which would still be somewhat silly, but more acceptable in my not so humble opinion) is not exotic enough a name for this chain restaurant's new 'ethnic' dish.  The loose association between "Mexican-ness" (which comes in the form of tortilla 'strips', pepper jack cheese, and black beans) and the Aztecs is quite a stretch, but I suppose that doesn't matter much when your shitting out ideas in front of a focus group from Indiana or wherever.

    "Our new Aztec Chicken Salad boasts its zesty, pepper-grilled chicken breast. Visit each salad and decide which is right for you.  Fun & zesty, cool & crunchy, completely colorful. We start with zesty, pepper-grilled chicken breast, toss it with cool, crunchy bell peppers, red onions, corn, celery, black beans & mixed greens in a tomato vinaigrette. Add tri-color tortilla strips & Pepper Jack cheese to finish this celebration of South-of-the-Border flavors."

(For similar nonsense, see the "Ancient Grains" cereal I picked up in the mid-90s in our Gallery of Random Commercial Weirdness.)