Essays and Crap

THE WONDER OF THE DOUGHBOY

The following was culled from "Meet the Pillsbury Doughboy" — a set of guidelines Pillsbury gives to advertising agencies that are developing commercials for the company. (Source unknown.)

The Doughboy — Who Is He?

The Doughboy is dough incarnate. His very being is magical. Originally called "Poppin' Fresh," the Doughboy has a full personality that encompasses the naïveté of a child and the wisdom of a seasoned chef. He talks about his products but is not a shill or a salesman. The Doughboy understands the nurturing values of homemade baked goods. He is creative, somewhat lighthearted, and unpredictable. While he's a corporate spokesman, it cannot be forgotten that he's also an imp.
Animation

The Doughboy should be able to participate fully in Pillsbury advertising as a character that moves and talks and interacts with people in the commercial or with viewers.

He can pop out of fresh dough packages, from cookie jars, or from behind packages on the grocery store shelf. He can carry the entire commercial, or appear briefly as an attention getter. He not only walks and talks, but has the ability to sing, blush, wink, and work with little devices like pointers, dance canes etc. As new commercials are developed, he may "ice-skate" on cookie sheets, slide down a row of cans in the dairy case, or "logroll" packages onto the screen. He can also play musical instruments. Additionally, he can do the extraordinary; i.e., leap long distances or get biscuits to march.

Reach indicates that he is more relevant and credible to consumers when he lives in the human world rather than his world. [What exactly is his world? — Ed.]

Physical Appearance:

1) He is made of dough and has mass.
2) His skin must look like dough: off-white, smooth but not glossy.
3) He is slightly luminous but does not have a sheen.
4) Knees, elbows, wrists, fingers, ears, and ankles are not visible.
5) Rear views do not include "buns."
6) His walking motion is characterized as a "swagger."
7) His stomach is proportional to his entire mass. Therefore, his spine is not curved excessively.
8) He is not portly.

Visit doughboy.com for a real treat — I am happy to report that my answers were 81.82% correct (9 questions out of 11) on the doughboy trivia section.