Intimate Placenta shampoo (Volume Distributors).  This odd lot was purchased by my father at a 99 cent store.  The price: Six 32-ounce bottles for a dollar!  The murky amber liquid within contains swirls of a viscous substance that, by appearance, could very well in fact be afterbirth.  Ingredients include: sodium laureth, suflate cocamidopropyl betaine...cocamide dea...stearamide mea, and "placenta extract" along with the usual cast of FD&C dyes, fragrances, and the ever popular quaternium-15.

     Conspicuously absent on the bottle is any explanation as to what benefit placenta extract might contribute to your hair.  Does it make your hair as bouncy and shiny as a newborn baby?  My fears that this (unopened!) bottle of shampoo contained by-products of a still-birth were allayed when my dictionary presented the following second definition for the word placenta:  a) the part of the ovary of flowering plants; b) (in ferns and related plants) the tissue giving rise to sporangia. Having read this, I felt a lot better.  Still, it's no surprise that Intimate Placenta wasn't a top seller.

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