(1999)

     Jeff Gordon is, in many ways, America writ large.  He's a race car driver, an avid Christian, and a relentless spokesmodel for Pepsico.  Dubbed "Wonder Boy" for wining 27 races and two NASCAR championships by the age of 26, Gordon claims (in Power for Living ads) that the most important thing in his life is his personal relationship with God.  Apparently God told him that the second two most important things in life are driving fast cars in competition against other men, and selling salty, sugary, fatty, junk food to his young adoring fans.  

     Back in the early 90s, when I didn't know who Jeff Gordon was, my friend and Culture Freak advisor, Jeff Wigman, described him to me as "the Brooke Shields of NASCAR Racing."  Interestingly, "Brooke" happens to be the name of Gordon's wife. "She is also a spokesperson for Pepsi-Cola... a deeply religious person and part of the Baptist church."  (Sept. 2004 note: I no longer have any idea where that quote came from. Oh, and by the way, Jeff and Brooke are now divorced, after a very bitter battle over the division of Jeff’s millions. Hopefully, God didn’t take it too personally.)

 With the exception of that one ad for Power For Living, I have never seen Jeff Gordon outside of a Pepsico context.  He is forever ensconced in snack and soda products.  Once I even saw Gordon ejaculating Pepsi.  It was late at night and I was driving in the middle of nowhere. I became thisty and pulled into a gas station hoping to find a bottle of water.  Alas, the station was closed, but there was a Pepsi machine out front.  The shining magic box cut through the darkness, and I could see it displayed an almost life-size image of a man.  "Huh," I thought. "I wonder who that is."  I approached, scrambling for change.  "Oh, of course.  It's Jeff Gordon.  He's smiling at me and holding a bottle of Pepsi ... at his crotch ... and Pepsi is exploding up and out.  Jesus Christ."

     In 1999, Pepsico's Frito-Lay and NASCAR teamed up to boost the American child's interest in racing and snacks with the introduction "Fritos Racers" — racecar-shaped corn chips.   Frito's Racers came in Nacho Cheese, Honey Barbecue and Regular flavors. Jeff Gordon's racecar number, 24, was embedded into each chip.


     Brandweek magazine reported that "[w]hile Gordon has been used to endorse the core Fritos brand, adult consumers of which are demographically identical to NASCAR fans, the fun-shaped Racers are intended to brings kids 8-12 into the fold and get them more involved. The link also brings both Gordon and NASCAR closer to kids, an imperative that has already resulted in a forthcoming NASCAR cartoon series on Fox television."

     Well, I'm glad our God-fearing Christian understands how important it is to get children more interested in salty snacks and TV.  It's amazing to me how Mr. Gordon can be so completely unaware of the fact that he's an absolute beast.   But then again I understand all to well. (And to be fair, his Jeff Gordon Foundation raises money for children’s charities.)


"Demographically identical" — that's for sure.

Second Opinion:

Anonymous email:

You are a freak and your article about Jeff Gordon was so wrong. Jeff is a born again Christian which I can tell you are not. Someday the people who aren't Christian will know all about it when they a burning in Hell.

My response:

Hello,

     I understand why you would be upset by the Jeff Gordon rants. There are a lot of things I wrote only a year or two ago, that I would not write today. While you are correct in that I am not a born again Christian, I have found myself adhering to a more Christian attitude over the last year or so (especially since September [11, 200]) and I, thankfully, have begun to let go of a lot of the bitterness that colored my mood and my work in years past. By upbringing I am Unitarian, and I recently began going back to church after almost twenty years away!

     I also decided recently to stop publishing Culture Freak, because I have moved on to more worthy projects. Although I don't plan to remove what I have posted there, I may add in some comments that some of the more juvenile views from my past have changed. I have made an unconscious, but concerted effort to judge less. I was very judgmental in my past, and when I read some of that stuff now, I find it difficult to relate to.

     In any case, I just thought I would respond and let you know that my attitude has been changing. I once wrote some bad things about Dave Thomas (of Wendy's fame) and when he died the other day, I felt ashamed of that.

     If you have any further comments on this please let me know. I try to recognize other people's point of view, because I think I can learn something from each person I communicate with. Thanks

His or her response to my response:

     Thank you for you reply. I am so happy to hear that you have a change in your attitude and are open to others point of view. and letting go of bitterness. I am not a perfect person either and didn't mean to come across as that. Born again Christians are not perfect people either even though non Christians think they should be. That is why Christ died on the cross for sinners. I hope you can open your heart and invite him in someday as I personally feel the ends time are near. If you would like to have the assurance of eternal life just pray and tell the Lord, I know I am a sinner: I believe your son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for my sins. Please forgive me of my sin and make me a new person. I commit my life to you today. Amen. I hope you will consider this someday as I find it is the only thing that makes my life worth living other than my family and friends. There is a wonderful minister on TV by the name of Charles Stanley. He is from Atlanta Georgia. Were I live we get his service at 8:00 Sunday morning on Fox Television? I'm not trying to push this on you just wanted to share some of my thought with you. Thank you. Good Luck to you.

My comments on the above: I never wrote back to Mr. or Ms. Jesus Freak. I'm still amazed by how so many born agains (e.g. Jeff Gordon, George W. Bush) just seem to have their priorities so mixed up...

Third Opinion:

Hi,
I was looking on this site while serching on some info on Jeff & Brooke Gordon. I thought I needed to correct your comment on Brooke belonging to a Baptist Church, this is wrong. She belongs to the Church of Christ, which is the church of the new testament ,( Christ's church ).Good luck on your search for the lord. All you need to do is search your bible & seek out a church of christ in your area. No creed to go by either. Also the person who wrote to you saying that you can be saved by saying the sinners prayer is wrong. You need to be baptized in Christ's church and profess to live a christlike life,being faithful to the assembly of his church, which is his body. Good luck in your search.
In christian love.
Wendy

My Response:

Well,

I will certainly post your comment on the site. Good luck with your whole Christ worship thing.