Essays and Crap

Culture Freak: La Critica Distruttiva, Prendere o Lasciare

StyleWriters: It Ain't What They Say

Today I was, once again, confronted by the use of the word style to imply a falsehood. At the coffee bar in my office building there is a sign that reads Deli Style Bagel Sandwiches. Let's see, this means that since you are not at a deli, you are not eating deli food. You are eating non-deli food — or, as apparently preferred by consumers — deli style food.

This usage of style has been in the culture for some time I imagine, but I'd love to peg down an estimate of its earliest appearance. So far as I can see, it is largely, if not exclusively, applied to food products. Various brands of Deli Style potato chips and other products abound, and Pizza Hut once featured a product called Pizzeria Style Pizza. This, to me, seems a foolish admittance on the part of Pizza Hut: "Okay, we admit it! We are not a pizzeria!"

Style often follows the name of a city or region from which a certain food or recipe supposedly comes. For instance, out in America you see New York Style this and that everywhere. In some places, pizzerias think that if they sell pizza by the slice (instead of whole pies only), it means it is New York style pizza ... I see. A friend of mine who grew up in California still wants to know, "What the hell is a California Style Burrito?" Hey, I don't know either. Maybe you only get them here in New York.

In the world of prepared and packaged food, style is only one among a number of words used in this manner. Many nouns are used as adjectives that negate the authenticity of a product. (Perhaps they are (adjecti-fied?) Cheese food is a perfect example. Well, my god this is actually a compound noun built from one adjecti-fied noun and one regular noun isn't it? But anyway, you and I both know cheese food is not real cheese. I might prefer they label this stuff not cheese, fake cheese, or even modified cheese to cut the manufacturers some slack, but the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is a little more lenient.

To avoid making false claims as to the contents of its product, a food manufacturer may simply intentionally misspell them, or add modifying nouns or adjectives to them. Only the fine print known as the ingredients will do tell you whats inside the package, and even that listing is rife with vague words like spice, and natural flavors.

A few years ago KFC introduced their limited-time You'd Be Crazy To Cook Meal. This $14.99 plus tax home meal replacement (AKA meal solution, see Marketspeak) featured several dishes, including "6 Honey BBQ Wings." Yum! After reading this ad several times (which hung on my bathroom wall for two years and has been mentioned in CF at least twice before, but I'm not obsessing) I noticed some really fine print. The ad actually read:

Honey is a barren allegation. High fructose corn syrup anyone? Mmm. Y'know, my doctor told me I wasn't getting enough in my diet ... And remember, KFC doesn't claim to be offering wings, only wings pieces. The pieces are of course mechanically deboned, comminuted chicken (at least we hope it's chicken).